Messing with my favorite fandom? Do that and I’ll rip your throat out. Stab your fucking heart with a spoon. And difinetly, I will turn you whole life into a living hell.
I’m a big fan of PERCY JACKSON AND HEROES OF OLYMPIS SERIES. So if You ever mess with the chacters, movie and whatso-fucking-ever, better tell your teddy bear to please come alive to protect you because the whole fandom will unite, go straight to your house and murder you. Got that?! GOOD.
( Sorry ’bout the disgraceful words but I wrote this because I saw two videoes on youtube “Everything wrong with Percy Jackson and the lightning thief” and ” Everything wrong with Percy jackson:The sea of monsters. I Watched it and damn! Their reasons why they hate the movie didn’t made any fucking sense! Like , excuse me! You dumbass should read the book first before you start talking. Urghh! Gets me to ma nerves like, URGHH!!)
Even with friends you’ll get insecure about some stuffs. You’ll get insecure because they’re prettier than you. Have Better voice than yours. Or even if they’re taller than you. You can’t tell yourself not to feel that way cause they are your friends. Instead you’ll do the oppossite.
Just like in my case, I’ve got this close friend of mine, which is also my seatmate. We eat lunch and snacks together. We do anything together. She’s the perfect person to do stupid things with you. But these days Im feeling down because of her. last Satursay, We both tried out for badminton. She made it until the final round while I was until 2nd round. I can’t remember what date it was but anyways,
We also tried to join Pacesetter. We subnitted our entry like long time ago and Earlier this morning, she received a letter from the pacesetter. She is now officially The News Writter of the school. While I didn’t got picked. I admit, I was jealous. As she read the letter while others are shouting congratulations to her, I was just standing by her side. I eventually didn’t know what to do. Should I be thankful because my friend got accepted or should I be mad because it wasn’t me? There were a lot of queations piled up in my head. But instead I just smiled and acted normal. Early in the morning I started to be moody.
Now Im feeling this feeling, that NOT GOOD ENOUGH FEELING. She’s a good dancer. Good at speaking Tagalog. Good at socializing with people. Pretty. Famous. And I know if I let my classmates or even other people to choose between Me and her, they will eventually choose her. Im more like THE oppossite of her.
I keep telling myself that I should not fucking feel this fucking feeling but… I don’t know… I just can’t.
So today, I entered Our school’s pacesetter, with Myles and other classmates of mine. There was a big part of me wanted to Go and try it out but the other part is saying No you can’t do it. But for the sake of me, finding my own skill ( If I ever have one..) Writting has been my hobby since ..uh.. a long time ago (I really can’t remember) But anyway, We are told to Make an Article about SAP launching Or The first day of school. We can choose between the two. But what’s bugging me is HOw can you make a news article ’bout that? I mean, Is it like this? Or just like one on the newspaper? Maybe. I’m new to this. Im not used to this. I write like free style. But what if I got accepted and I will receive an allowance of 900+ monthly. I could buy many books with that amount of money. *sigh* Any of you guys can share tips? It would be very helpful for me.
First of all, Happy 4th of July! Second, Hey! Im back! It’s been a week or so since my last blog. Been lazy to type ,besides its School days, Im stuck with my Diary hehehe so yeah I’ve been writting. Talking about writting, I made a fiction story ,Romance/ Comedy which is written in ma notebook and when my friends read it they were like”oh my gosh,Rachel! Update right now!” I was thinking are they telling the truth? Or they’re just messing with me? But they said they’re telling the truth so I updated and they like it again. But now hehehe me being lazy its updated until chapter 2 only :>
Anyway, I thought I already move on. But the feelings I had for him came back. Or maybe I was just pretending that I already forgot him and call myself Miss Moved on? *sigh* 1 week when school started, That first time I saw him again, its like gosh I missed him so much! But its really unfair when you missed someone but that someone doesn’t give a fuck about you. It fucking sucks!! I know our story was not like Couple “story” instead, its just a simple story where a girl fell inlove with a guy that doesn’t feels the same. But it doesn’t mean you can easily forget me. I mean, I was always there for you no matter what ,DON’T FORGET THAT! But With all of that, I don’t know why I still like him, knowing that he even doesn’t care.
Ok, enough with the DRAMA. I should really get some sleep.
-How long will I love you-
Oh my gosh! That was so awkward! I don’t believe it could happen in real life ,but fuck, it did! You know that scenaro where guy and a girl accidentaly meets face to face while walking and awkwardly trying to move to the left and right but they always do the same. AHHHHHH!! I don’t know why I feel this way again. Lately, Every time we walked passed each other I can’t help but smile a little. Not the smile before. I sometimes act fierce. Pretending I didn’t saw him or didn’t give a fuck about his presense.
Anyways, First 2 weeks of school went pretty great. I’ve notice my confidence got higher than before. I hope this will continue. So yeah, Gotta go. PERCY JACKSON AND THE OLYMPIANS : THE SEA OF MONSTERS is about to start! I’ve watch this many times already but it never fails to bore me! Maybe because of LOGAN LERMAN!!!!! hahaha Bye :)
Lately, I’ve been thinking about joining Popjazz for Intrams and Zumba for my school club but the problem is Im having second thoughts. I really love to dance, I really like to learn to dance better. Its just that, This is my first time to try it. last year I planned to join popjazz but when I saw the moves, DAMN! It was
FUCKING fast. So I didn’t joined. And a month later, I regret my decision! *sigh* Weird fact about me : I do zumba ALONE in the bathroom while taking a bath. Hahaha. Why? I really don’t know. I guess Im too shy or scared of ma relatives reaction or expression when they see me dancing girly moves. Im afraid they’ll laugh because Im the type of girl who they thought isn’t into those things. Im not girly like other girls. Im living with a aunt and a grandma of mine that gives Insulting comments or jokes like “You’re not pretty, Ugly hahahah, and a lot more” I know its just a joke but, for the record it hurts. I just act normal and pretend I don’t give a fuck about what y’all saying. And when everytime they comment nice things about me, I don’t know if they’re saying the truth or its just another joke. I also live with two sisters of mine and guess what, The two of them are damn gorg and models. They always join paggents and won. While Im in the crowd with ma other relatives chanting their names ,jumping whenever they won, clap and clap and clap And.. CLAP! But deep inside I feel Insecure. Why am I not as gorg like them? Why am I not like them? Why? Why? Why? WHY?! I want to feel what their feeling everytime they get compliments whenever someone tells them how beautiful they are. I want to feel that For once, IM TOTALLY A GIRL. a girl that wears dress, skirts, heels. Im sick and tired of pants, shirts, and shorts and dollshoes. I want to try something new. I want to see my reflection in the mirror and say “WOW, I NEVER THOUGHT I COULD BE A GIRL”.
I write and blog because in these ways I can tell or even just express what im feeling. Anger, Happiness,Sadness, whatsoever. I hope they’ll read this tho. But I doubt that will ever happen.
For now im really confuse. Should I join or not? What if I don’t get accepted to popjazz? Zumba’s ok ’cause its just a club.
I watch Jc Caylen’s videos like all the time And what I love about him is the way he tells his viewers to do what makes you happy, Live above expectations.
That two lines gave me a dose of confidence to DO WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY ^^